(Warning: Naughty puns ahead. Hide your kids.)
Renee C. ordered this sandcastle cake for her beach-themed wedding:
So you know what's coming, right?
Heh. Aheh.
That's right: DIRTY PUNS ARE COMING.
The bride really got the shaft here, and it doesn't take a firm grip on reality to be testy over such a cock-up. Should she just suck it up and beat it? Is she nuts to take this blow so hard? Will nothing stop the erection of headstrong turrets?
No, that's a fallacy!*
Besides, I'm sure bakers will get the point in the end.
Aaand I'm done.
Thanks to Renee C. for the heads up!
Okay, okay. Now I'm done.
*'Cuz it's a phallus - see?
(OH COME ON THAT WAS GENIUS.)
*****
P.S. Speaking of things that are dirty, I have to introduce you to the handiest little kitchen gadget for under $8:
Dishwasher "Dirty/Clean" Slider Bar
The whole thing is magnetic, and it also comes with a double-sided adhesive for non-metallic machines. Also comes in black, and there's a prettier cursive option if you don't like the bright red/green!
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Comment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.
Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished! Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!
Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.
Go!

Shin Haewon's family falls far short of haughty aristocrat Yu Seojun's very reasonable standards, as he is gracious enough to explain to Haewon. How cruel that fate compels extended proximity between Haewon and Seojun.
Behind Five Willows by June Hur
this comic is inspired by... MY DAD, who thinks it's impossible for anyone to tell - much less me, w
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May 8th, 2026: I saw the best minds of my generation, and they're doing great! They're really having a good time of it and it's so nice to see. – Ryan | ||
This morning I got the second comment on "The Final Afternoon" that was clearly from a scammer, which is especially depressing when the story still only has four hits. Though at least this one made the effort of reading it first. Here's hoping I have more luck with this thing.
Title: All Five
Part: 18: Everyone on Planet
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17)
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters: Qui-Gon, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Mace, Padme
Disclaimer: Now Disney owns them.
Warning: Off-screen suicide
Note: Sequel to "Growing Up in the Jedi Temple."
( It was a journey that could be done in just under a day if you took the quickest routes and went as fast as it was safe for their ship to go. Just enough time that Anakin had to actively work to keep all his scarier thoughts at bay. )
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I haven't been quite this close to a moving train before.
Original
is here on Pixelfed.scot.
A city that is a mile or so across can be traversed on foot in half an hour, give or take, depending on how fast the individual in question walks and how much traffic and crowding get in their way. Two miles, you can cross it in an hour, or get from the periphery to the center in half an hour. And when you look at historical cities in places like Europe, you frequently find that's about how big they are. One to four square miles is a manageable size.
Cities with a larger footprint did exist, but they require you to change what you imagine when you think "city." It's more like the agrarian version of suburban sprawl -- and, as Annalee Newitz mentions in Four Lost Cities when discussing Angkor, there's some reason to think that pre-modern urbanism in tropical areas simply looks different than it does in temperate zones, due to differences in agriculture. Lidar surveys indicate that Angkor may have covered three hundred and ninety square miles! But that's not a thousand square kilometers of densely packed buildings surrounded by a wall; that's a complex patchwork of fields, houses, temples, and markets, connected by the complex works of irrigation infrastructure that were necessary to maintain it all.
That infrastructure points us toward one possible solution for getting around an enormous city: go by water. I've mentioned before that water transport is often more efficient than land until you get motorized options . . . but when it comes to cities, that's far from a perfect answer.
See, odds are good that you'll be more reliant on muscle power to move the boat, with a paddle, oars, or pole, rather than being able to benefit from natural forces. A river's current will carry you downstream just fine -- but going home? Now you have to fight that force. (Unless the river is tidal in that reach, but then you're constrained to the timing of tides.) And within an urban context, you have much less space to maneuver about with wind. Don't get me wrong; water is still often better. One or two people can operate a boat full of produce brought in from an outlying field, as opposed to needing to wrangle a draft animal for a cart or being limited to what they can carry on their own backs. But it's not as dramatic of an improvement as being able to sail an entire ship or barge hundreds of miles for long-distance transport.
I'm talking about produce because that's going to be the most common reason people in a large city need to move around. (Other goods, too, but food is the first ten items on the list of "what needs to be transported in or the city dies." Water pretty much has to be there already or the city is dead to begin with.) Commuting of the sort that's a dreary feature of daily life for many people in modern times was vastly less common in the past, because most people lived at or very near their places of work, i.e. within walking distance.
This starts to change with the Industrial Revolution -- but not because we got motorized transport, not right away. Instead you started having factories that employed huge numbers of people in a very small area, and while some of them had associated lodgings nearby, the explosion of urban populations as people came thronging there for work meant that density became horrifically unmanageable. Cities had to spread outward, and somebody had to come up with a way to move people around faster.
Early on, the answer to this was the horse-drawn omnibus. (Which is where we get the word "bus" from; in older works, you see an apostrophe marking the bit we dropped, as 'bus.) They were essentially the same idea as the hired coaches between cities, just repurposed for urban use and focused far more on moving passengers than luggage. They also didn't require buying a ticket in advance, instead having the kind of hop-on, hop-off service we're used to nowadays. As the nineteenth century progressed, many of them became double-decker buses, with passengers sitting on the roof as well as inside the carriage -- though the top was usually only for men, as women would have more difficulty climbing the ladder in their dresses, and be exposing themselves to up-skirt ogling besides.
The earliest attempt at this was in the seventeenth century . . . so does that mean it could exist in any era? Perhaps, but I suspect the answer is that it's unlikely. The challenge of the omnibus is making it sturdy and stable enough not to be a hazard to its passengers -- at least, by the lax safety standards of the Victorian era -- and also making the service profitable. Industrialization meant it was easier to produce steel for things like braces and wheel rims, and the sheer scale of demand for transportation allowed for entire networks of routes, rather than just one line that might or might not see enough use. Earlier eras are not going to offer the same favorable conditions.
Of course, we didn't stop at horsebuses. Laying down metal rails in the street greatly increased the amount of weight the horses could pull (and gave passengers a smoother ride to boot); then we got engines that could move the trams in place of the horses; then we realized we could put the trams underground, where traffic wouldn't slow them down, and we were off to the races with subways. Meanwhile, motorized water transport made regular large-scale ferry services possible, without having to worry as much about the vagaries of current, wind, or tide.
Expanding public transit made it easier to expand cities, because now people could live farther away from the noise and the stench, without spending half their day getting to work and the other half getting home again. Even now, though, it can often be an imperfect solution, because not all areas are equally served. If you look at a map of the London Underground, you'll see that while the north side of the Thames has an abundance of lines, the southern bank -- where there are fewer elites and important institutions -- has vastly less. It isn't always the case, though, that elite = access; where I live, in the San Francisco Bay Area, the residents of wealthy Marin County to the north consistently oppose efforts to extend public transit up to their neighborhoods, because then the hoi polloi could get there more easily.
I should note in closing that public transit is not always mass transit. Our modern taxis and pedicabs are the descendants of horse-drawn hackney carriages and human-carried sedan chairs for hire, both of which became common long before we had omnibuses running regular services for large numbers of people. Those more individualized options really only require enough urban density for profit, and enough people with the money to pay for them -- you're not likely to see them hanging around slums waiting for passengers. (Even today, it can be notoriously difficult to get a taxi in a bad part of town.)
And, as usual, speculative fiction throws a few wrinkles into the mix! Science fiction often includes mass transit, because most of it assumes both the technology for such a thing and populations on a scale to make it necessary. Fantasy, by contrast, often leaves it out -- but it doesn't have to! Depending on how magic works, you could have self-propelled vehicles, animated constructs pulling them, even regular flying carpet service from the suburbs to the urban core . . . or no magic at all, beyond the straightforward ingenuity of past invention.

(originally posted at Swan Tower: https://is.gd/W9jkpG)
In Tudor England, the line between mathematics and the mystic arts is vanishingly thin. Straddling both worlds is John Dee, a brilliant scholar and astrologer whose intellect grants him access to the highest circles of power. Dee navigates the politics of the court by making bold prophecies, which win him royal favour. But even correct predictions may come with a price – and laying claim to the future is a dangerous game.
For ad-free listening and bonus episodes, video conversations and our newsletter, please consider joining the Cautionary Club.
A key source was The Diaries of John Dee (1998), edited by Edward Fenton. Several other books were very useful:
John Dee’s Conversations with Angels: Cabala, Alchemy and the End of Nature (1999) by Deborah Harkness
The Years of the Wizard: The Strange History & Home Life of Renaissance Magicians (2025) by Rachel Morris
The Arch-Conjuror of England (2011) by Glyn Parry
The Secrets of Alchemy (2012) by Lawrence M. Principe
Prophecy: Prediction, Power and the Fight for the Future, from Ancient Oracles to AI (2026) by Carissa Véliz
The Queen’s Conjuror: The Life and Magic of Dr Dee (2002) by Benjamin Woolley
The following websites and articles also helped us tell John Dee’s story:
“Phantom pregnancy: The mental health condition that mimics a baby’s arrival” by Rosemary Counter, National Geographic (11 September 2023)
“Some Workmen’s Wages in 1588” by Elizabethan.org
“A robot in Prague and an elixir for Rudolph II” by Habsburger.net
“John Dee: Elizabethan 007, scientist, magician and spy” by History Extra (8 October 2021)
“Nothing But Solitude” by Christopher P. Heuer, Lapham’s Quarterly (14 May 2019)
“Mathematics, navigation and empire” by Alex Grover, Royal Museums Greenwich (8 July 2019)
“Martin Frobisher’s North West Passage expedition 1576–78” by Royal Museums Greenwich
“The Coronation of Queen Elizabeth” by A. L. Rowse, History Today (May 1953)
“Elizabeth I’s Coronation Procession” by Tudor Times (16 August 2019)
“John Dee and Edward Kelly: Through a Glass Darkly” by Michael Wilding, The Brazen Head (18 October 2020)
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”
Robert Frost
1. What do you consider your current main fandom? (This can include hobbies and collecting. Anything you feel fannish about!)
2. What was your first fandom?
3. Do you have any favorite headcanons or fan theories?
4. Have you ever created fanworks?
5. Are you still active in any old fandoms?
Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.
If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!
This week, I'm going to take a moment to re-rec "The Queen of Ieflaria" by Effie Calvin. A while back, Effie got tired of her publisher jerking her around, so she got the rights back to her books and has been working on re-editing and self-publishing them. "The Queen of Ieflaria" is the first book in the series, and is the only one currently re-released (with 10,000 new words!), but "Daughter of the Sun" is on its way hopefully this summer. You can find out more about "The Queen of Ieflaria" and get some infographics to maybe perhaps possibly share around over here on the author's Tumblr account.
Do you have a rec for this week? Just reply to this post with something queer or queer-adjacent (such as, soap made by a queer person that isn't necessarily queer themed) that you'd, well, recommend. Self-recs are welcome, as are recs for fandom-related content!
Or have you tried something that's been recced here? Do you have your own report to share about it? I'd love to hear about it!
